We find it hard to let go of the past because that is where we've experienced personal success
Change is difficult — and we have plenty of reasons to resist it! No one likes to contemplate letting go of the skills and behaviours that "got us here." As individuals, we become psychologically attached to the status quo because it is familiar and comfortable. But even more difficult than fighting off the inertia of…
To grab someone's attention, move from making speeches and announcements to creating an experience in which people learn for themselves
In San Francisco, on the corner of Powell and Market, I once watched street performers entertain tourists waiting for the cable car to arrive and depart. My favourite "act" was two fully-dressed men who spray-painted themselves gold and silver. Posing like statues, they would kneel on the sidewalk facing each other with their elbows resting…
Embody the change you want in the world
I was still in high school when my father was fired from the San Francisco Examiner. Dad loved the newspaper business and he especially enjoyed his job, working with the newsboys who (then) sold papers on street corners. I knew he'd be devastated by the loss. To add to the problem, he had been employed…
A study of Olympic athletes offered insight into the body language of pride and shame.
For insight into the body language of pride and shame, scientists studied the behaviours of judo matches at the 2004 Olympic and Paralympic Games. The competitors represented 30 countries, including Algeria, Taiwan, Ukraine and the United States. The research report in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences stated that body language of blind…
We reveal a lot about our attitudes, emotions and motives by the way we hold our bodies
I often address leadership groups about the importance of nonverbal communication in business. Senior managers actively participate in the sessions, asking questions and volunteering for various demonstrations. Everyone seems genuinely interested in the topic. Everyone, that is, except this one time when one woman sat for the entire time with her shoulders rounded, chin tucked…
Create mini-cultures to make your group feel safe, valued, important and needed
I once spoke on “The Power of Collaborative Leadership" to business audiences in The United Arab Emirates, Scotland, England, The Netherlands, Belgium, Canada and four states of the U.S. Audience members represented industries including engineering, manufacturing, retailing, construction, shipping, technology, energy, utilities, printing, pharmaceuticals and consulting – plus a range of government agencies. After my…
Leaders must understand how nonverbal skills can help them develop positive business relationships
Many executives in my audiences are initially skeptical about hearing a speaker on "body language" because they suspect that the topic might be interesting, but not very practical. By the end of my program, they know better. Here's what they learn ... 1) Science has validated the impact of body language Body language is the…
The best way of countering liars is to follow the old adage “trust, but verify”
Recognizing that we are being lied to is an important social and business skill. But surprisingly small factors about someone, – where we meet them, what they wear, what their voices sound like, whether their posture mimics ours, if they mention the names of people we know or admire – can enhance their credibility to…
Five actions that will build trust in your organization. But only sustained behaviour will ensure that trust survives and thrives
Trust is the belief or confidence that one party has in the reliability, integrity and honesty of another party. It’s the expectation that the faith one places in someone else will be honoured. When I asked 537 managers how leaders build and destroy trust, here’s what I learned: It’s always a case of ‘follow the leader.’…
When your business colleague stops looking at you, she is "saying" with her eyes that she has, in effect, stopped listening
You're at a business event and the colleague you've been having an intense conversation with begins to shift her gaze from your face to look around the room. Ever wonder why that makes you feel as if she has stopped listening? You know it's not logical. A person doesn't have to look at you to…